:: Gideon's Shite Site ::

Which Buffy Bad Guy Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

:: gideon 6/19/2002 12:29:00 PM [+] ::
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Which Hacker's Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

:: gideon 6/19/2002 12:26:00 PM [+] ::
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Today's comix!!!

http://www.ucomics.com/boondocks/viewbo.cfm?uc_full_date=20020619&uc_comic=bo&uc_daction=X

http://www.ucomics.com/captainribman/viewtmcap.htm

\http://www.polypop.com/comix/nari/guitar_or_violin.html

http://www.e-sheep.com/apocamon/

http://www.godlikeproductions.com/lenore/lenore.htm

http://www.fetusx.com/strips/fx061402.html

http://www.ku-2.com/ku/srsmt/srsmt1.html




:: gideon 6/19/2002 10:04:00 AM [+] ::
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"Everything in moderation, dude... even recovery."

Hiya kids, name's Gid, and I'm an addict...

and how fucking cool is that?!

... if your looking for hope,
... if your looking for salvation,
... if your looking for answers,
any answers at all...
then go somewhere else and consider yourself lucky.

otherwise you can stay here and watch the pooch fuck the basketball in slomo.
any questions before we begin tonight? no?
excellent, then let us start from the top...

To begin at the beginning, so to speak, in the only way possible... by ending.

I ever tell you about the time I died?

I was standing on top of the entire world, looking out upon all god's creation with a bird's eye view of everything. Granted I was seven and this was just a really big fucking jungle gym, but at that age, the entire world is the size of a lovecraftian temple on a long dead world, aeons and aeons from anything we've ever known Either way, there I was, looking out and loving all of it, the world i mean.
And then I was falling, having been pushed off by this little cocksucker who just wanted his turn on the slide, so I plummeted a couple of dozen feet down, face first into an exposed tree root.
Halfway down I went black and fell into a deep deep void.
I was nowhere for a long time, just floating there, like I was waiting for someone. Then I heard a voice, twice as big as you can imagine.
The voice told me I was to be shown the secrets of the universe, to be allowed to see the path of my life, to understand my place and my path on earth... but... and this is a big but... i would not be allowed to remember it. Ever.
TAt that moment I realized something unspeakable.

I realized the nature of reality and God.
And then forgot it... for about 20 years.

I was dead for almost an entire minute before th PE coach revived me. But in that minute I lived an entire lifetime. Saw everything I was going to do, saw all that was going to happen to everyone, and then forgot it.How terrible is that? On so many fucking levels. Death is funny that way, I guess.

Flash forward so many years later and I'm standing under a sign in downtown Ft. Lauderdale. The sign reads: "Everyone dies." and I remember just a little bit of everything. And the pixies dance about my eyes and the furries of damnation spin like dirvishes as my head reels from the former void of memory. And I look up towards the sky and see a vision of the wind, chemtrails up high masking the sun's rays.

As the music on my headphones wells up and crashes on the shores of my brain it all becomes clear, death makes us all partners, unwilling as it may be and taunts us will secrets and lies. The true nature of God sits on the couch before the ultimate home theatre surround sound system. God loves us only as long as we continue to entertain Him.

In god there is no syndication, no reruns, no "very special episodes", it's all like MAX X or Jackass to the Big Guy. Waiting for that money shot of pain, stupidity, or misery.

But best of all, the Lord loves sitcoms.
I guess we all do, sometimes. Between irony and death, which is the better joke?

Goodnight kats and kittens.

-GGS
:: gideon 6/18/2002 08:28:00 PM [+] ::
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Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
Though it feels as if you'll live your whole life without anyone ever appreciating you, don't give up yet. There's still more than a week left.
:: gideon 6/18/2002 02:04:00 PM [+] ::
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Aw crap.
:: gideon 6/18/2002 04:35:00 AM [+] ::
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June 16. Bloom's Day - the entire action of James Joyce's Ulysses took place on 16 June 1904.
:: gideon 6/16/2002 08:07:00 AM [+] ::
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“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fears. I will let them pass through me. And when the fear is gone…only I will remain.”
-Paul Muad’dib Atreides

God, to quote pure geekdom, how far have I sunk?

Here we are then, back to zero prime, jobless and hopeless, trying to get drunk and failing (lousy Irish/ Native American blood in me). So. as usual, when my mind turns to fear and the unknown, my thoughts head to safe havens... case in point, quantum abnormalities in ralation to hinduistic belief structures... ie; interdimentional travel within one's own life cycle.

bare with me fer a sec, k?

In easter teaching, it is thought that all matter operates on a certain frequency or vibration. The zen masters chant and hum and whatnot only in order to try and match the frenquency of god's, or the universe to me a bit more scientific. In tantra this belief is held through either yoga, sex, or a combonation of the two. In quantum tantra, this manifests itself in a simple, if not understandable complex equation of interdimentional travel. All matter is formed of energy, or more aptly put, the manifestation of supernatural vibrations.

It is said that the universe in infinite, this is true.

But....

If all is infinite, then everything that has been done and will be done is being done at this very moment somewhere in either time/ space or the opposit. Non time/ non space. But lets go one step further, shall we?

Let's say god is the universe, creating it'self every second it has/ever will exist, still with me here? like a perpetual motion machine, god creates everything at the first the last and the now. but that's not quite right, is it? seems like one fuck of a lot of work for the big guy to be bothered with every nanosecond of the universe's lifespan. why bother when you have a whole reality that can be just set into motion and just simply fracture into a google-like amount of individual pieces solely based upon the thoughts, deeds, actions, and imaginations of the beings that dwell within this reality.

"So, um, Gid, what the fuck man? What's the point of all this silly shit?"

Fuck MAN, you want me to spell it out for you?

"Um, yeah dude."

Fine titwad, I'll do my best.

Look at it this way, yer God, you got a whole slew of universes to run, what do you do? Do you just micro manage everylittle lifeform under your thumb? fuck that, you give them free will and let them create the multiverse for you.

In all the centuries of strife and death and silliness on this planet there have always been the freeborn thinkers, the artists, the writer, the dreamers. We create whole worlds inside words and movies and art, mini gods of universes we create. Within each one of those mini universes life takes hold somewhere in another reality. hard to swallow but it's true. somewhere on another frequency of reality lies the star war/ star trek universes, the world of superheroes, a land of drangons and knights, lands blasted by nuclear war, cave men and women trying to survive... and so on. With every dream a new universe is born.

And to get there we only need the quantum address and a means to get there.

Quantum tantrics is just such a means, the subtle transmigration of our energy into another state throug delicate equations and sexual configurations to match the vibrations of the world we wish to connect to.

More to come as I am inspired to tell...

-GGS
:: gideon 6/14/2002 12:43:00 AM [+] ::
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AAnd with all the changes you've been through
it seems the stranger
is always you...
in this wicked little town.


is it possible to lose a second soul?


back to the zero hour kats and kittens, unemployment comes in days, and i'm at a loss. again, i ask you, where do i go from her?
i have no idea.
i've tried everything to get ahead in this life, all failed.
i beg for my destruction, it has yet to come.
that's got to mean something, don't it?


or maybe i just suck at dying.

c'mon kids throw me a bone here. i can do only one thing, write. but, it seems no one wants to pay to read my words.
irony can be so ironic sometimes.

"grey would be the colour if i had a heart."

my closest loves are an infinity away, geologically. i am stranded on this outcrop of loneliness and isolation.
up the creek without even a pair of water wings, it seems.

"just the fading fucking reminder of what i used to be"

acid guru; dead.
god of fuck; dead
artist; dead
the connection; dead
every title i've ever held has died...

i wonder if you can overdoes on kalonophin?
any one care to wager, i've got a whole bottle...

maybe sleep will help.
:: gideon 6/11/2002 08:18:00 PM [+] ::
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wig in a box


or


lokking for my other half



on nights like this...
all i can think is depressing. feel on the verge of going mad...
it seems sos simple, put to gun into my mouth, and just dream...
and nothing is ever fun, and the strangest things seem
suddenyly routine...

so many metaphores to put into context, but it's all the same, the song still play, even minimized.
this is the best face i've ever found...


my mask is fluid, an aboration, a curse, how about wang ye on guitar, give it up for her.

so, like my newset hero, i dwell on the origin of love...
and find only myself, rolling like a big wodden keg.
either love me or hate me, but either way do it with passion. fuck me or kill me. i'm tired of this limbo. god, grant me this answer
it's been too long living, i'm ired, let me die tonight.

there's nothing good left on this earth to live for.


:: gideon 6/10/2002 11:40:00 PM [+] ::
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Deny me and be doomed

or

Saliva is my medium




"You make this all go away, you make this all go away, i'm down to just one thing, and I'm starting to scare myself..."

I just want something I can never have. It's that simple, I realize this now. Funny really. I first heard that song almost 11 years ago, during the blackest of my times. Love givven where it was never wanted, a kiss unspoken, a promise unsaid... utter pain. If I had been a drinking man back then I would have drowned. Today, not as much, but the waves still crash over my head as I gasp for the air I truly believe I still need. But a small part of me knows the truth, that the love I think I need to complete me is all illusion, a lie I tell myself. I died years and years ago and just never admitted it to myself.

I am a ghost pretending to be a man...

Long before I found and cast aside my true love I had died. Long before I even knew what could have been I killed that part of me that could love. Now... I'm just a shell, trying to pass for one of you. I accept this now.

I don't know how to go on from here, it's just that simple.

So, that's that, done and said. My soul laid bare for no one in particular tonight. No messages to my fans, no love letters sent in code. I am Donnie Darko without the cool paranormal powers. Without the ability to go back and die like I was supposed to. To save us all...

So...

Where do we go from here?

-GGS
:: gideon 6/07/2002 10:19:00 PM [+] ::
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With the sun come a promise of a new tommorow...


The clock is counting now, faster than ever, With dawn's new light we shall see a lightshow unlike any other. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. The disfigured, the damned, the evil among us will be set free to loose havok on the living. Such peace it brings...

Now, we are ALL riders on the storm. Equal in every way, or so my sources tell me. The jet stream will pave the way of our demise... am I making sense yet? No? Good, then hopefully I am wrong.

Eitherway, say goodbye to what could have been and HELLO to a future you never wished would come about. The shitstorm raises around us every moment, but tomorrow it reaches a head...

Only devine intervention can save us now...

The dead weep no tears.

-Donnie Darko
:: gideon 6/04/2002 10:22:00 PM [+] ::
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the now and the not yet


the visions keeps coming
telling me to do things
i cannot undestand
but i'm so far away
how can i help you?
going back is the only
answer... donnie knew
and killed himself
to perserve love
to relish life with death
the joshua trees die
because they must
as do i...

i know this path
i've walked it before
alone, before I even knew
what happiness could be
and i shudder, alone again
idols of red headed lovliness
and sailor moon otakus
fill me as does poison
and i remember what was and
what should have been
and weep at my loss

this cycle ends with me
god
grant me the strength to do
what i am told i must
"what happened to yer eye?"

it comes full circle
even it i wish it away
we all die alone
but by god's grace
we die only as a function
to save us all
from a tomorrow
that should never be.

hallelujha.


:: gideon 6/04/2002 09:58:00 PM [+] ::
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June 4. On this day in 1974, Mrs Candelaria Villanueva, 52, had been in the sea with a lifejacket for more than twelve hours after the ship she was on, the Aloha, caught fire and sank 600 miles south of Manila, Philippines. A giant sea turtle appeared beneath her and supported her until her rescue by the navy vessel Kalantia. A smaller turtle climber on her back and bit her every time she felt drowsy and was in danger of submerging her head in the water. After the rescue, the bigger turtle circled the area twice before taking off.
:: gideon 6/03/2002 09:03:00 PM [+] ::
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dance me...

well, against many objections and protest, it seems i am still alive. dammit. and, to make matters worse, it seems i am still employed, what a crock... anyhoo, here i am, still breathing, by all manners of soerts beyond my control, writing to all y'all once again. so here we go...

i always wanted to be an acid guru, but i never thought it would involve acual stomache acid, god this acid reflux combined with my ulcer... it's like a torrent of peptic demons converging inside me... ug. in the book Dune, it is sed, that fear is the mind killer. no, it's not... stress is the mind killer. one can blow right past fear in many difficult times, but stress weighs heavy upon both the mind and soul. and it tears up yer insides to boot...

so, here i am, bleeding internally, and looking for a way to be free.

beats me.

bought the legend ultimate collection dvd today... fucking beautiful, in every respect. so there's my two cents, do with it what ya might, fer me, i'm gonna go watch it again and wonder why i can't see a modern film as beautifuly made toady....

and hey, miz may, what's up? why you summon me?

and hey, miz renee, where you at babe?

and hey, miz prettypain, why the sad eyes?

and fer the rest of you sorry sacks of human waste, what's with the silence? at least some of y'all gots the guts to call me out when i'm acting like an asshole... why not you?

nitenite you sorry children, don't you miss me yet?


i have a box of anthrax.... cd's that is...


poop,
-GGS
:: gideon 6/01/2002 01:10:00 AM [+] ::
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moving to antartica


my question tonight is how does one move to antartica? it sounds like a wonderful place for one like myself to live, no fucking heat to speak of, and with the comming cataclysims coming, totally out of the mix... the new equator, so to speak. damn, i need a vast amount of money and quick. any ideas kids? who wants to go with me, the promise of a better life amid the gulls and sea lions,the amount of research that could be done, the ancient history of mankind made whole at last, all waiting at the edge of reality in a vast snow filled land... twelve months from now y'all are gonna be hammering me fer ways to move that far south, why not now?
c'mon, who's with me here, who's going with me?
at the current south pole we can be whatever we want to be...
there is no country to intrude in our affairs, no laws besides thoses of nature, no restrictions... we will be free in all the ways we are currently not. we could be the hydroponic elite, the cold fusion masses, biding time for a global economical revolution. like the rutles said, all you need is cash.

so, who's gonna be first in accepting my offer from the coming hell like world we are about to face?

fine. mock me. gimmie a call next may about how rational i seem tonight. i might even admit i'm wrong...

either way, i still love all y'all.

killing time until i die,
GGS
:: gideon 5/30/2002 10:21:00 PM [+] ::
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history repeats itself....

"let's give that key lime pie a day in court... and a bigass glass of non-fat milk...."


or


waiting, again, for the miracle to come.



boom, baby!
firs pours forth once again, and the bitch outta hell comes by fer one last dance and voices from the past vie for my ear and soul... fuck that. beep beep. "hell's bells darlin' don't stop now, i'm just gettin' started..." you've made my shitlist. fuzzy warm memories of this movie, laura and i seeing it the first time opening night, then every night for a week. going home after and getting high and fucking until the sun bled blurry tears thru my soiled curtins.
life was so much better then, no worries, just love and adventures and fun fun fun. we was poor, but happy.
sorry, but i've been on the brink of self inflected wouds fer a couple of nights now, wondering how much valium it would take to fell a beast of my size? shit, i mean, i reckon i'm prob'ly immune to that pill shit by now. a decade of drug abuse must create some kind of safeguard....
"whole world's coming to an' end Mal..."
ya, that is poerty. the very nature in fact. an artist is only as true as his actions, and what actions have i ever taken? not counting sexual adventures, not much worth even videotaping. where's my kinograph when i need one?
so, by friday i'll be outta work again.
wheeeeee.....
once again the eternal; question, pay the rent or buy a shotgun to end it all...



a big meat eater


dressed in confettii
and smiles like lemurs
she holds the room
with her eyes
and blinks tears of
hunger and loss
smiling at the poor
boys in sorrid
underwear wet dreams
a slide show, all alive
pinhole burns
on my fingertips
she french kisses
the pain away...
my meat puppet lover
playing a game
with rules broken
and never made


something from the past...



chronium arm


this long, die the days
i've lied
on a platnium floor
begging
to just see again
the light
i used to know
not the one
inside
my chronium arm
vut filled
inside my sad state
with sparrows
and fractal prisms
technicolour afterbirth
such joy
now gone
yellow drying
allminum can
catching
false sunlight
off of
leather painted walls
something...
touches my
chronium arm
and i remember
tomorrow
wit fond farewell...


"you make everyday like kindergarten..."

goodnite my passive agresive little children. sleep well, because tomorrow might bring nuclear war. kisses, kittens.

-GGS

:: gideon 5/30/2002 01:33:00 AM [+] ::
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this is only a test, try and relax...
:: gideon 5/30/2002 12:53:00 AM [+] ::
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no sleep, tired, bad craziness everywhere, nuclear war... what fun. please god, give me nuclear desolation in asia. what fun we could have, yum. hey baby, where you at? long time no see... i got too many movies now, what horror, we all sing along to the bone dance. 5 to 5 and 10 to 10, we all sing the final song, we all live the final scene... it's here and it needs to feed, the summery needs no footnotes, we all die in this dream... goodnight my red headed love, goodnite to my lessor lusts, you all mean something to me, even when i never wake up...

my love is a VIRUS,
GGS
:: gideon 5/28/2002 01:00:00 AM [+] ::
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The Diabolical Curse Generator - Get yours!!!